Letters to America
by LordofAmus
Summary: Hey guys! Its your favorite hero America, here to answer all you questions from historic events, to relationships to absolutly anything!
1. Chapter 1

**Letters to America Ch. 1**

**Disclaimer: **Hikari doe not own or claim to own any characters from Hetalia.

**A/N**: I know this has been done a billion times but I really wanted to  
>try this.<p>

Hey you guys! It's everyone's favorite hero, America! Americas too formal though so just call me Alfred. I had seen a bunch of people trying to impersonate me so I decided to write my own letters to all my adoring fans since I'm obviously your favorite character! There are no rules just please make sure I can understand your request! I'll only respond to the one I can understand! Also, since I don't check my messages too often, the quickest way to get a reply is by a review! So send any question, comment, or fan letter and I, the hero, will answer as soon as possible!

America out!


	2. Chapter 2

**Letters to America. **

**In response to: **_Hey pappa!  
><em>

_North Carolina here, I have a question. How do you have time to answer letters and such, but not visit me! I'm not asking for much...atleast a five minute visit. I'll even get Blackbeard's ghost out!  
><em>

_Lots of love,  
><em>

_Mary-Belle Jones  
><em>

_North Carolina_

Dear North Carolina (Mary-Belle),

Heya kiddo! The reason I don't come to visit is because you have that ghost. Ghosts are scary...not that I'm not a hero. You know Daddy's the worlds hero. I have to make time for everyone so the world can stay safe and free of fat, stupid commies like Russia. I'll make a deal with you, if you don't get out Blackbeard's ghost, I'll come visit you real soon and I'll make you a special Hero Burger and we'll play any video game you want. Thanks for writing! Love ya, kiddo!

Sincerely, Your heroic dad Alfred.


	3. Chapter 3

**Letters to America.**

In response to: _Dad,  
><em>

_Privyet. It's me. Alaska. Ya know, the state between Uncle Mattie and Papa (Russia). Yeah, that one.  
><em>

_So anyway, I was wondering if I could borrow a few hundred gallons of vodka. To flood Konigsberg's house with. She's annoying and I didn't want to use Papa's vodka. Yours is awful, so it wouldn't be a waste. See, I'm not wasteful. Doing my part to help the starving kids in Japan or whatever.  
><em>

_And anyway, if it doesn't work, I can always just ask Papa to lend me some nukes. And before you objct, ridding the world of Konigsberg would be quite 'heroic' I can assure you.  
><em>

_Also, I think Hawaii hates your guts. Just thought I should warn you.  
><em>

_Do svidaniya,  
><em>

_Nikolai (Alaska) Braginski-Jones_

Dear Alaska(Nikolai),

Hey Alaska! You know, as much as we hate people, we can't just kill others. Even though we all want to, we'll just tick off more people 'cause they don't think it's being very heroic or some crap like that. However, I can share some vodka with you and we can take shots and play beer pong. But you gotta come down here because it's too cold where you are and I don't want to get near that commie. It's nothing against you. Relationships with your Papa and I haven't been the same since the cold war although we both still love you! And Hawaii hates me? That's such a shame. I'll have to have her over for hamburgers. See you for drinks!

Peace out, Daddy Jones


	4. Chapter 4

**Letters to America.**

In response to: _Hey big bro!  
><em>

_It's me, Kentucky! I was scannin my laptop when I saw this & I jumped at the chance since, y'know, no one ever pays attention to me. So now that ya remember me (I hope) I got me some requests...  
><em>

_#1: Please explain to all 49 of our other siblins that I am FEMALE. Yes, I know durin the Civil War my hair was short but I'm female, I checked! So many of em are shocked to find out that I ain't male & 1/2 the time they don't believe me! :U  
><em>

_#2: Stop bein a jerk. Cuzin Matty has had enough of bein the one beaten for your stupidity!  
><em>

_#3: Tell Frankfort to start informin me on WTH he's doin to my gov't! He basically acts on his own accord & won't listen to me, & since you're HIS boss get him to stop!_

Love ya, bro! ^v^ 

Bella C. Jones, Kentucky 

P.S. Japan says "Konnichiwa baka-san!" ;)

Dear Kentucky (Bella),

How's it going? Of course I remember you! You make that really good chicken! It's not as good as McDonalds or any other fast food restaurant but it's pretty good.

You're a girl? I mean, of course your a girl. What idiot wouldn't know that! I'll be sure that I tell the others that your a guy...I mean remind them your a chick. You do know that if I tell them that, the Bad Touch Trio is going to have to flirt with you or try to do some...stuff. But since your my kid, you'll obviously be able to take care of yourself and kick their butt.

Who's Mattie? I have no clue who you're talking about? Who ever this Mattie person is, they're not getting bet up 'cause of me 'cause I'm the hero and I protect everyone. Even this Mattie person

Who's this person your talking about? I don't know half of the things you talking about but if you say I'm their boss then I must be their boss. I'll tell whoever they are to do what you asked.

Love you too, girlfriend. (Excuse my girl language. I'm not a girl like you and I only hear this kind of talk around England when he talks to his 'fairy friends'.)

Lots of Love, your Big Bro


	5. Chapter 5

**Letters to America.**

In response to: _Hi Dad! Its me California (Alex Sacramento)...  
><em>

_Like so, would you mind stopping the budget cuts in my state? That would like, be awesome... Oh and uh... can you I dunno... make my economy... suck less? That'd be like... cool dude.  
><em>

_Oh yeah... Errr Alaska was right.. Hawaii DOES hate you. She was like over at my house yesterdates and she was all up in my grill about me talkin to you. She was so mad she didn't let me go over to her house to surf yo... That was not awesome.  
><em>

_Anyway, I guess if you get the chance to like... do that stuff for me... that'd be cool.  
><em>

_TTYL, California (Alex)  
><em>

_P.S Is it, like true that I don't have another parent? That's what Texas told me anyway... He said that me, Oregon, and Washington just popped outta nowhere..._

Dear California (Alex),

Hiya! How's it going? I'm trying to work on the budget cuts. I really am but my boss isn't helping much. And of course, budget cuts means the economy isn't exactly very 'awesome' as Prussia would say. At least it's doing better then it was right? I mean, we've improved from the first downfall and this isn't nearly as bad as the Depression. Besides, this is America and we're the heroes so we'll be the ones to fix the economy, yes? I promise you that I'm trying my best!

I don't understand. Why does Hawaii hate me? And dude, that's totally not she didn't let you go surfing because she didn't like me. I hope she and I can at least talk the stuff over. I hate it when people don't like me 'cause I'm the hero and everyone loves the hero!

Like I said, I'll try to make everything work out for you! Love ya, Alex!

Love, Daddy Jones

Ps: Um…well you see…you do have two Daddys…It's just….that…um…they're…the same Daddy…'cause…um…you know! Do I really have to explain this?


	6. Chapter 6

**Letters to America.**

In response to: Hey pappa, 

I knew it! But if you're the world's hero, why don't you save me from Blackbeard's ghost? What if he's a big dead jerk? And what if he's in cahoots with those fat, stupid commies? I could have a pirate commie in my house. I don't know how to get him out...I've tried. He'll make a great Halloween decoration though...a special Hero Burger and video game? Okay! You're welcome! Love ya too, daddy! 

Lots of love, 

Mary-Belle Jones 

North Carolina

Dear North Carolina (Mary-Belle)

Um…well you see, while I am the hero, I need to be…um…careful when dealing with such dangerous things as a ghost. What would the world do if I got hurt or even worse? Everything would turn into ciaos and the economy would crash! But if he was working with commies you know I would have to come to you right away to save you like the hero I am! There's no way I'm letting my daughter get eaten by a pirate-commie-ghost-thing. Try asking Uncle Iggy to help you get rid of it. He seems to know a lot about ghost stuff. And yes! Totally hero burgers and video games! Got a favorite video game you want me to bring? See you some time soon, doll!

Lots of love,

Your awesome heroic dad America!


	7. Chapter 7

**Letters to America.**

In response to: Dad, 

Aw, you're no fun. That's okay. I can just use nukes. Papa was glad to lend me some. He doesn't like Prussia's kid much either. But he says I have to test the nukes out first. No one needs Oregon, right? 

Alright, that'd be awesome! But are you sure? Because the cops down south where you live tend to have a problem with a 15 year old drinking (dunno why though...). But yeah, I'll come down. And I wouldn't say that to Papa's face- by the time he's done with you, you wouldn't have a face anymore. 

I think Hawaii's issues are a little bit more than hamburgers can solve. But hey, if you wanna end up with a knife in your skull, who am I to stop you? 

Do svidaniya, 

Nikolai

Dear Alaska (Nikolai),

Ok, I think you're spending too much time around Russia. Do not go using any nukes on anyone; especially your sibling! If you go out nuking people, it will make me look bad and that can start a whole war! So, I know you don't like Prussia's kid but just play nice for now. If there comes a time, I'll let you blow him up.

You forget we're countries/states. We can pretty much forget all the laws about drinking or driving age limits. I think you need to spend more time with me. You're showing favoritism towards that fat commie and I do not like it one bit. Plus, you know I'm the best country there is! Right?

Aww! Hawaii wouldn't kill me…would (s)he?

And omg! Can you please stop speaking Russian to me! You know I don't like that guy any more! Still love ya!

Your bestest Daddy ever,

America!


	8. Chapter 8

**Letters to America.**

In response to: Big bro~ 

Ya think I care bout the Stupidity Trio? Spain was actually the first to find me but he don't remember who I am & France basically waved "hi" & left. So the only the one I'd hafta worry bout is Prussia, but no one can resist my beer so problem solved! 

Seriously? Ya can't even remember your own brother? CANADA? Wait til Matty hears... 

& Frankfort? He's my capitol & my "boss" but he don't seem to realize who the state in our relationship is & believes HE runs my gov't &- 

America-san? This is Japan. I had to take the laptop away from Bella-chan b/c she started to grow angry & almost threw it at the wall. Frankfort-san really gets under her skin & makes her quite angry when he goes behind her back like he does most of time. Oh, & I hope you do not mind me staying here at Bella-chan's... 

Bella-chan says "Frick'n love ya, bro!" 

~Honda Kiku, human representation of the nation Japan

Dear Bella,

I wouldn't underestimate the Bad Touch Trio. Even though Spain and France kinda raised you that doesn't stop them from anything. Just look at Romano and Canada. OHH! Is that who Mattie is? Haha. I'm so funny. Besides, beer only makes the problem bigger.

NO! Don't tell him! Look above, I just remembered him! It's just kinda hard to remember him when he doesn't even have 100 million people. I think he only has around 30 million. Seriously, I just remembered him now! The hamburgers must have been blocking a few arteries.

Oh…well that could be a problem. I'll try to talk to him but I've got a lot on my plate right now. You know, being a country and all? I'll try to get on it soon.

Japan? You know it's really creepy to be staying at a girls house? I'm not sure how it's like in Japan but that's not exactly acceptable in America. Haha. I know you won't do anything though. Please just tell Bella to calm down. I'll talk to him soon.

I love ya too Bella! We need to get together sometime soon! Maybe then we can both go talk to this Frankfort dude!

Lots of love,

Daddy Jones


	9. Chapter 9

**Letters to America.**

In response to: Dear America, 

I am but one of your many citizens, and I think you're AWESOME! Keep being your cute, heroic self! 

I wish I knew what's going to happen during the 2012 elections. At least the number of Republican candidates have reduced to around three. I say "around," because other Republicans keep being talked about on the news, even those who AREN'T running for some reason. I know Obama is going to run on the Democratic side, all that I want to know, really, is who will run on the Republican side. What are your opinions? 

I think this is all for now. 

Sincerely, 

Angi

Dear Angi,

Hey ya! How ya doing? I always love hearing from my citizens! Haha! I'm glad you think I'm so awesome and heroic! Maybe you should tell that to England and Russia. They don't seem to think so but I know they know I'm so heroic!

Oh boy, don't get me started on politics. It's such a transition. Changing between bosses you know? I don't know. You're asking for my opinion? My honest opinion? I don't really know about the Republican Party. I hope it's someone good because Obama didn't seem to really do much. I believe that you should always have respect with your boss because it's such a stressful and time consuming job but he didn't really do much of anything even though he got an award. I think that was for being the first black (or African American, whatever you prefer to say is cool.) president which I was really excited about! To think that 50 years ago, black people couldn't even use the same drinking fountain as white people and now we have a black president is amazing! I know some people are still prejudiced but look at the amazing progress we have made! I hope that answers your question. Hopefully things turn out good!

Signed,

United States of Alfred!


	10. Chapter 10

**Letters to America.**

In response to: Dad,

Alright. I'll hold you to that. My schools just aren't doing so well y'know?

Well maybe I can get Hawaii to at least talk to you... I dunno we'll see kay?

About the parent thing, you mean I don't have another parent like Alaska? I mean he's got you and Russia, and Massachusetts has you and England...

TTYL California

Dear California,

Yeah, sorry about that! Just encourage your citizens! Things will be better soon! Besides, you've still got beautiful California right? That's awesome!

Yeah, if you could get Hawaii to talk to me, that'd be awesome!

Um…that's what I was hoping I wouldn't have to explain. For one thing, be glad your other Daddy isn't Russia like poor Alaska. I seriously worry about the kid and poor Massachusetts was probably neglected by England the same way he neglected me. The thing about your Daddy is that I had to make new states some how…so I did something…and you can out! It's just me…I really don't want to say the word (Hint: starts with an 'M' and ends in "asterbation") so that should be enough for you. Sorry if you're scarred for life now!

With forever love,

Alfred!


	11. Chapter 11

**Letters to America.**

In response to: Brievyet Amerika,

This is Russia. I am writing so that you can tell me how Nikolai is doing. I haven't been able to visit because I have been very busy here at home, so I would like it if you could let him know why I haven't been keeping in touch. Although he did come asking for nuclear weaponry... Something about eliminating an annoying child of Prussia.

-Russia

Dear Russia,

If you have time to contact me, why don't you go contact your kid and tell him yourself! You're already spending too much time around my kid! He is part of my country so that makes me his main guardian anyway so just leave him alone! You'll turn him into a bad kid or a commie or something or give him bad ideas that the US should be communist too. And don't give him any nukes! The child of Prussia should be left alone! Think of poor Germany! His poor brother is dead; this is almost all he has left of him so let him go! Ok? So leave my kid and Prussia's kid alone or you'll have to deal with me, the world's greatest, strongest hero!

The strongest country,

America!


	12. Chapter 12

**Letters to America.**

In response to: _My dear son,_

_It has been so long since I have come to this world. I miss you and your brother so._

_I wouldn't be surprised if you do not remember me, But you must know that I love you both so very much._

_I do not hold any grudges at you nor your brother, A mother's love is eternal._

_Always,_

_Awenasa, Child of the Plains._

Dear Awensasa, Child of the Plains,

I'm sorry, I seriously don't remember you at all. You sound pretty awesome though so I'll tell with full truth that I'd be proud to have you call me your sun.

I'm really sorry dude that I don't remember you. Please, tell me what I am supposed to remember.

Oh man…did I do something to you? Did I hurt you? If I did, I'm really sorry. I must have had a good reason for it! I'm really sorry dude! Please tell me whats going on? This is really vauge.

I'll be waiting,

Alfred F. Jones


	13. Chapter 13

**Letters to America**

In Response to: _Dad,_

_Hawaii said she'd talk to you... only if you let her become independent. I guess she's still mad that you took her over and stuff._

_I am scarred now. I AM a guy... AW MAN! I thought I mighta had a cute mom... ewww... Love you still dad..._

_TTYL,_

_California_

Dear California,

What! No way! We're a big family! We're all adults; we don't need bribery to get us to talk to each other. If she's mad at me, she can talk to me like a grown up.

I'm sorry to scar you like that but you did ask. Haha. Don't ask don't tell you know?

Talk to you later,

Alfred


	14. Chapter 14

**Letters to America**

In Response to: _Dear sir,  
><em>

_Will you please tell Hawaii to stop asking me for rockets and to stop telling Mexico that I wanna go home with her after I refuse to give Hawaii the rockets she wants? After all, I would rather join Alaska and his dad, they're cooler than you anyway. I also have no regrets about telling California, Oregon, and Washington about their "unique" parent situation. Good luck with explaining that by the way.  
><em>

_Signed,  
><em>

_Alex A. Montoya (Texas)  
><em>

_P.S. I refuse to call you "Dad" and Russia really is cooler than you.  
><em>

_P.P.S. I think Hawaii's gonna kill you soon, and I'm gonna go visit Alaska later to talk about becoming Russia's son too._

Dear Alex (Texas),

Wow. Not afraid to speak at all there, huh?

First of which, I have a question for you? Do not take this offensively since you're my kid and I'll always love you, even if you hate me or think that Russia is cooler but why should I do any of the things that you ask me to do when you say all those things? You're not very good at brown nosing. Believe me, you don't want to be Alaska. Open your eyes. Realize what you have and appreciate it. I'm glad you told Washington, Oregon and California. They deserve to know how they came into this earth and I think I did just fine explaining it to them.

Your awesomest daddy,

Alfred

P.S: Russia is a fat commie freak. I'm obviously more heroic then him.

P.P.S: Hawaii can try but America shall always triumph. While you and her may not love me as my other children do, I have other children who love me and will help me. I will never be beaten by one state. And you can't just become Russia's son. Your stuck with me so just be happy about it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Letters to America**

In Response to: _Dear Idiot,_

_Are you honestly doing that stupid letters fad everyone else is doing? Goodness, shouldn't you be doing something better with your time? America, I know you like to be "hip" but you need to focus on more important things...I bet all you're doing is responding and eating an absurd amount of hamburgers aren't you? You're going to die at this rate._

_Sincerely, England._

Dear Iggy,

Of course I'm doing the letters! Everyone love America! I do do better things with my time! My economy is better than yours! I'm sorry, that was pretty low! You know I'm always joking with ya, Iggy! And I'm not eating that many hamburgers! Besides, I've been drinking the green tea Japan gave me so the hamburgers won't do anything to me. Aww! Iggy, are you worried about me? I always knew you cared you big softy!

From your hero,

Alfred


	16. Chapter 16

**Letters to America**

In response to_: __Aloha,  
><em>

_I have no idea why everyone is saying I want to kill you Kahako. I love my papa very much! Without you I would be a lonely little island, with free government, no annoying tourists, and legitimate Hawaiian food! I love you so much Kahako, and I hope you come and visit me often! I have a new surfing attraction, its called Shark cove and has cute little sharks swimming all around! We could go surfing together!  
><em>

_May lala loo,  
><em>

_Hawaii_

Dear Hawaii,

I knew you didn't hate me! I love you very much too, sweetie! I'm so glad you appreciate me! You know I'd do anything for my baby's right? I'm going to try to visit you soon but everyone's been asking me to visit them so I'll try my best! Sharks swimming around? Sounds dangerous but I'm the hero so of course I'll have to go! I love you sweetie!

Lots of love,

Alfred


	17. Chapter 17

**Letters to America**

**A/N: **I just want to say this, I don't mean any of this personally. I really hate sounding like a bad person and I hate arguing with people so if you send a reply like this, go right ahead. Just please don't take what I say personally. I'm trying to act as America would.

In response to_: __Amerika,  
><em>

_Why do you feel the need to be so harsh? I was merely asking about my child. I do have a right to know how he is. Isn't that what you always claim to be so important? A person's rights? So not only are you a hypocrite, but an arrogant one at that. You are trillions of dollars in debt, da? And China practically owns you. As for Prussia, he is still alive. He isn't a country, but he is still alive.  
><em>

_Nikolai is important to me, Amerika. I can and will see him if I wish. You can't hide him away like a jealous child. But I forget, that's what you are. A child. Don't think that the power you have now will be there in a hundred years, because sooner or later you will fall.  
><em>

_-Russia_

Dear Russia,

Excuse me for being protective of my kid. I do not want you influencing him. If he does anything, people will look at him and me strangely. I do not want him bombing anyone like you are permitting him. I see how you're making me look like the bad guy (which is nonsense 'cause everyone knows I'm the hero) but I'm being the responsible one and setting boundaries. I may preach about rights but you're not American. You're pretty much anti-American so why should my laws apply to you? And China doesn't own me! No one owns the hero, America. I just simply borrowed some money that I'm going to pay off…eventually. And seriously? Gils alive! That's totally awesome!

If you want to see Nikolai that's cool but if I suspect that you're teaching him bad things or giving him any kind of weapon I will forbid you from seeing him. Call it Child Services if you will. I don't want him picking up anything bad. And I'll take your advice about the power. You obviously know first hand about the fall of power ever since your fall. Haha!

Sincerely,

America


	18. Chapter 18

**Letters to America**

**A/N: **I just want to say this, I don't mean any of this personally. I really hate sounding like a bad person and I hate arguing with people so if you send a reply like this, go right ahead. Just please don't take what I say personally. I'm trying to act as America would.

In response to_: __Dear sir,_

_To be blunt, I appreciate everything you've done for me sir, but if you want me to give Hawaii those weapons, I'll be sure to do that. As for me leaving you and joining Alaska and Russia, look at it this way, if two of 6 of the U.S.'s largest oil producing states leaves for Russia, then what happens? Did you forget that I'm one of your largest beef producers too? Good luck getting hamburgers then. Oh, and I wish you luck walking around blind when Russia starts wearing my glasses. Thank you for eternally scarring California for me, I'll be sure to send a care package to you later._

_Signed,_

_Alex A. Montoya (Texas)_

_P.S. If you're calling Russia fat, you're calling yourself fat too, since both of you wear those bulky jackets. For all you know, he might be as fit as an Olympian athlete under those clothes. To call Russia a freak is to call yourself a freak since we both know how much you enjoy jumping on that line._

_P.P.S. You do realize that most of us mutually dislike each other, right?_

Dear Texas,

You can do whatever you like with Hawaii. She's a big girl and can take care of herself. She's smart enough to make good decisions. It doesn't really matter if I loose oil since I can import oil from the Middle East. Although, Daddy would be sad if he lost two of his children. I didn't forget that you supply majority of beef or that you provide my glasses. I think of you everyday between the two. And if the care packages include hamburgers I'll be happy!

Sincerely,

Dad

P.S: I wear my bomber jacket because it makes me look heroic. You just can't see my muscles when I wear it. And I never was a communist so I was never a freak.

P.P.S: Many of you might but we've still stayed a country and we've even gotten past a civil war so I say that's still pretty good.


	19. Chapter 19

**Letters to America**

In response to_: _Kesesesesekese! 

Alaska is such a jerk America! Don't listen to him! Hey I was wondering if I could come to your country America! I kinda totally destroyed uncle Germany's house and I need to get outta here A.S.A.P before he finds me! (I'm in Italy's room) I don't know why he's so mad! I was only trying to reunite the Bad Touch trio... But I guess I can't replace... 

Anyway! No depressing stuff! I still have my Dad! 

The AWESOME ME 

Königsberg

Dear Königsberg,

Alaska is just too much like his other Daddy. Just don't take him too seriously, I won't let him hurt you. That'd be totally unheroic of me! Yeah! You can totally come over! I'll go restock my beer! I totally understand about Ludwig. He gets really angry over little things. And it's even worse if you hide in Italy's room. He'll think you were doing something to him. And if you reunite the Bad Touch Trio, I will have to break them up again. They caused enough ciaos. Haha. I'm only joking. I'm such a jokester

Someone told me Prussia was still around! Well…not Prussia but Gil! That's totally awesome! We need to hang out.

The heroic hero,

Alfred


	20. Chapter 20

**Letters to America**

In response to_: _Dear Alfred-kun, 

Konnichiwa, my name is Okinawa, or Honda Rika. I am aware that you are friends with aniki, correct? Oh, my aniki is Japan, by the way. You.. are Hawaii's guardian, correct? Hmm... 

Rika Honda (Okinawa)

Dear Rika,

Hey, how's it going! That's awesome that your aniki is Japan! What does aniki mean? Oh and yeah, Japan and I are totally tight yo! He comes over to watch scary movies with me! And yeah, Hawaii's my kid. She's technically one of my states. Nice to hear from you.

Sincerely,

Alfred Jones, America 


	21. Chapter 21

**Letters to America**

In response to: Hallo Amerika, 

Honestly, I believe a few of your children are in desperate need of a therapist. I can't begin to even conceptualize their reasons for hating Prussia's child. Sure, he's just as annoying as his father, but let's be real here. What did they expect? Even I wish he had taken after me. I would appreciate all 'nukes' and other various nuclear weapons being kept away from MY son. 

Please pass the message along to Russia as well. 

Have a good day. 

Danke, und Guten tag, 

~Roderich Edelstein

Dear Austria,

Don't remind me about my kids. I've been trying to please them all to no avail. And please don't use big words on me. I'm not Germany. Prussia's kid is your kid too! Woah! Dude, when did that happen! I thought you were Elizabetha! I'm trying to keep him away from the nukes but Russia is in cahoots with my kid and turning my kids against me. I'll pass the messager but I blame you if I'm nuked.

Talk to you later Specs!

Alfred


	22. Chapter 22

**Letters to America**

In response to: Dear Idiot,

For one don't call me Iggy! You know I deplore that name! If anything you can call me Arthur. You-! why I put up with you I'll never know, my economy is fine by the way. I'm still pretty strong don't you forget. You're drinking Japan's green tea? I see, well I will admit it is good but I think mine is better...I could send you some if you're finally drinking tea.

Sincerely England.

P.s. I am not worried about you don't ever think I am.

Dear Iggy,

As I said to Roderick, please don't use big words like deplore on me. I'm not Germany, ok! And Arthur's so boring! Then again, it'll match your personality…haha! Sure…sure… your economy's fine…You're still pretty strong, I'll give you that but you used to be so big. Of course I'm drinking Japans tea! I need to stay to my diet regiment! No! I do not want any of your tea!

See ya later home dawg!

Alfred

P.S: Sure…you totally don't worry about me. *munches five different hamburgers*


	23. Chapter 23

**Letters to America**

In response to Dad, 

Actually, he's been pretty busy lately, which kinda sucks. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't nuke Oregon anyway- goes against my principles: play nice with family, but anyone else is fair game. I just tested the nukes out on my own land. Mighta caught some radiation poisoning or something, but whatever. Safety first before I nuke Konigsberg off the map. And if someone wants to declare war on you for it, just tell 'em it was me. If they wanna kill me, they can take a freakin' number. 

Good point. Wait, then why the heck won't you teach me how to drive? Sure, if you say so. That's not showing favoritism. It's just stating the facts of life. Papa is not fat, he is not communist, and I refuse to grace that with a response. *sighs* Look, Dad, you know that I... *has to force himself to say it* I'll always l-love you both very much. There. I said it. I will not say it again, so be happy. 

...You don't even know if Hawaii's a guy or girl? Okay. Hawaii's a she. I'm gonna have to give that a tentative hell yeah. 

Извините. Аляски отклонил ваш запрос. Пожалуйста, оставьте сообщение после сигнала. Беееееп. Besides, why can't the two of you just get over it already? What the heck is your problem with each other (besides the obvious)? 

Do svidaniya, 

Nikolai 

((AN: Translation: Sorry. Alaska rejected the request. Please leave a message after the beep. Beeeeep.))

Dear Nikolai,

Woah! You just nuked yourself! Don't do that! That's not healthy! Don't you care about your people? And seriously, don't bomb Prussia's kid. He's actually pretty cool! And just so you know, Prussia and Austria would come after you if you did. Me too 'cause I told you not too.

Next time you come to visit and if you don't bomb anyone, I'll teach you how to drive, ok? If you're not showing favoritism then how come you always talk about Russia? You know I don't like him! *gasps* You love me! Aww! You know I love you very much! *hugs tightly*

I totally know! I just talked to Hawaii. Me and her are tight now!

What the heck is my problem? Uh…besides him always goatting me into a war and threatening to nuke me (althought he hasn't done it lately)? Seriously, it's like, impossible for us to get along anymore.

With forever love,

Alfred.


	24. Chapter 24

**Letters to America**

In response to Kesesesekesese!

PAPA'S ALIVE? SINCE WHENNN? Oh... if Russia told you that then no... Vater is gone, he seems to think that Gilbert Beilschmidt is Prussia. But Uncle says that I can't see Gilbert because he wouldn't remember me. Plus he couldn't see me anyway I bet.

Hahahaha Italy isn't in here though! I'm only under his bed and he's not here, I checked. Last I saw he was arguing with Romano about Rome. I'd totally like to drink beer with Rome but Romano's mad about me teaching Madrid how to say the F word. The kid asked!

Russia scares me, whenever I'm around he just stares at me. I don't know why and one time he even called me "baby krollick" or some weird thing like that. Alaska is just like him, weirdo.

Waiting for that yummy beer!

The AWESOME ME

Königsberg

Dear Königsberg,

Well, I heard he was alive. That's all. I'm not sure if it's true or not. I also got a letter from your other daddy, Austria and he's being very protective of you right now. I'm sure he'd love a visit.

I know right! Romano gets a huge bug up his arse if you teach any of his kids to say a bad word! Just to be save though, get out of Italy's room right now. Seriously, now. Germany is very protective. (A/N: Did you read the Letters to Italy?)

I know. They're both really starting to freak me out…not scare me though. Nothing scares the hero! Nyufufu!

Yeah dude, get out from below Italy's bed and get over here right now! I got some beer waiting!

Sincerely,

Alfred!


	25. Chapter 25

**Letters to America**

In response to: Dear sir, 

Would you like me to give Alaska weapons too? He's been asking me for some too. Attached to this letter should be a care package filled with barbeque sandwiches, tacos, assorted chilis, and a couple of hamburgers since you asked so nicely. It's nice to know I'm only remembered when my glasses are on your face or when you're eating one of those heart attacks on a bun that I have sadly provided you more of. I'm thinking about having a scary movie night soon (food provided) and I'm debating about who to invite... I've narrowed it down to California, Alaska, Hawaii, Russia, Canada, England, Japan, and you. Tony and Whale are welcome to if they wanna come, is there anyone else I should invite? 

Signed, 

Alexander A. Montoya 

P.S. Bring any scary movies you want, I sadly only have a small collection. 

P.P.S. Watch out for my dogs at the door. Houston, my German Shepherd, should be fine with y'all, but Austin, my Chihuahua, can bite extremely hard if he decides he doesn't like you.

Dear Texas,

Uh…I'd prefer if Alaska didn't get any weapons. He already nuked himself…which is odd enough. I don't think he needs anything else. YUSS! FATTY FOODS! I love fatty foods. I got some green tea here though, provided by Japan so I'm still upholding to my diet. I think of you and all my children many times! Not just if I eat or wear something from you guys! Aww! You're inviting me too? I love you soo much! Don't forget Austria and Austria and Prussia's kid!

With love, Alfred

P.S: Ok. I'll bring a bunch of movies over! You can keep a few too! I've already watched them all!

P.P.S: Yo dude, I'm cool with dogs! I'm the hero!


	26. Chapter 26

**Letters to America  
><strong>

In response to: My dear son, 

...Thank you for waiting for me, but I'm not sure if You'd really like to hear the stories. 

But you seem sincere, so I will do my best. 

I had found you and your brother along the mountain range that you two share along your borders. As most other children of the land do, I could tell that you two were to become children of the land as well. But you could only imagine how taken aback I was by your appearances, Yet, I named your brother Mahpee and you Mahkah; Sky and Earth. 

I had raised you both as my own children as I knew you both must be. And then of course, the strangers came. 

It started with a boy named Norway, whom only stayed for awhile and left soon after. Then there was a Man named Spain, That man was a demon... He killed your aunt and Uncle, and he stole your cousins, and started calling them 'The Mexico Sisters'. 

I tried to keep you two from being taken by the demon, and in a way, I succeeded, but you both ended up being taken by other strangers. I couldn't help but be unsurprised, It only made sense. Neither of you ever even spoke, because you were meant to speak their language. 

I didn't see either of you for years later. I think I may have spared a glimpse or two, while yo were expanding your territories into my land. It hurt my body and my people, but I knew that this had to happen. 

My body was weak enough to he point where I could physically die around the time of what is now called 'The Massacre at Wounded Knee', and that I did, in the cross hairs of the fight. 

I wasn't scared, Everyone knows that everyone dies. No one remembered there even WAS a child of the land for the 'Indian's anyway, not even my own people, so, that's why I was unsurprised that you don't remember me. 

….I'm sorry, I didn't want to tell you this. It's a sad history. And please don't be sorry, what's done is done, it can't be helped. 

Just, Please tell your brother I love him, and don't forget that I love you as well.

Always, 

Your Gaho...That means 'Mother', Awenasa, Child of the Plains 

p.s. I personally think 'Alfred F. Jones' is a good name for you, a strong name for a strong boy. 

(I take Pide in making Native America stoies as sad,and historically accurate as I can)

~*~*~

Dear Gaho,

You tell me not be sorry but I am having such difficulties obeying you. I...regret...what happened to you. I'm starting to vaguely remember times with you; the waves of talk grass and the pure untainted air. My most prominent memory is the wind in my face. I wish I could remember more of those times. Hopefully, if I think more of it I will remember.

I will be sure to contact Mahpee and tell him everything that happened. Please remember that I love you too! Hopefully when I too die, I'll be able to see you in that place where we go after our lives had ended.

With much love,

Mahkah

P.S: Thank you so much! I am glad I have grown up strong! I only hope I have made you proud. I won't forget those little memories of you that I have or our letters.

(You do a wonderful. My mouth was gaping the entire time I read this. If I wasn't in such a good mood today I would literally be sobbing now. Just wait until tomorrow when I'm depressed again and I bet you I'll cry. XD)


	27. Chapter 27

**Letters to America  
><strong>

In response to: I'll go visit Daddy Specs then. I thought he didn't like having me around, but I've been practicing my piano a lot! So maybe he won't be too disappointed this time!

Romano's a wierdo. But hes really cute! No wonder Spain likes him. I'll leave the room, I won't leave any "surprises" like I planned either... ((I did))

Will be over after I wow Daddy Specs with my awesome piano skills!

The AWESOME ME

Königsberg

Dear Konigsberg,

I'm sure old Specs will be very pleased that you learned the piano. He can be stiff sometimes but he does care about the people close to him. He doesn't show it easily.

Ha! You know kid, you got a point! Romano really is a weirdo. He is super cute then again, all Italians are! If I totally didn't have a crush on England (shh. It's a secret!) and if Romano wasn't already taken, I would totally go out with him! Although I don't think he would like me; not many too. Apparently I'm too loud or something. Screw them! I'm the hero and everyone loves the hero! Ew dude! Did you take a crap? I hope to God you didn't!

Ok, have fun and good look. I'll keep the beers in the freezer so they stay cold. Warm beer tastes like horse pee! Look I'm being such a good boy and censoring myself. Iggy and Specs should totally praise me!

The hero,

Alfred


	28. Chapter 28

**Letters to America  
><strong>

In response to: Hey pappa, 

...alright. Uncle Iggy should help me anyway...he's the one who left me with the guy. Hmm...it'll be weird without him hangin around. Oh well, some change is for the better. I don't really have a specific game, maybe something with zombies! 

Lots of love, 

Mary-Belle Jones 

North Carolina

Dear Mary-Belle,

Yeah, if he doesn't want to help you just tell him I'll tell France his 'secret'. (I don't know what it is but everyone has a secret they don't want France to know). Weird? How can it be weird? I'd be so happy if he wasn't around and I don't even live with him! I have so many with zombies! I'll bring them all, ok!

With love,

Daddy Jones


	29. Chapter 29

**Letters to America  
><strong>

In response to: Dear sir, 

The fact that Alaska has nuked himself doesn't surprise me... in fact, it explains where some of my missing weapons went. Will you please tell Alaska and Hawaii to stay away from me and my weapons closet? I'm gonna go change the passwords to it now. As much as it pains me to say it... I lo.. I luv...Screw this, I don't dislike you. There, I said it. Tell me beforehand if Tony or Whale is coming, ya hear? I have to make sure I have enough food for everyone. Also, France has been popping up randomly around my house lately... so if you are a country, please bring your own self defense weapons when coming over, I will only provide weaponry and safety for my siblings... and possibly America. 

Signed, 

Alex Montoya 

P.S. In no way is any spawn of Prussia's allowed in my house after the Bad Touch Trio had an unexpected reunion at my house the last time Spain visited me. I refuse to pay for another renovation and Austin has not forgiven Prussia for getting drunk and trying to set him on fire.

Dear Alex,

Why is everyone asking me to tell other people things for them? Why can't you tell them? Haha! Aww. You're just like England! You know you love me! I think only Tony will come. Whaley hasn't exactly been in a good mood as of late. Why only possibly providing weapons for me? Don't you love me as much as you're siblings?

With love,

Daddy America

P.S: Yeah…don't expect them to pay it either. All three of them are horrible about paying things back. And the part about Prussia trying to set Austria doesn't surprise me. Not one bit.


	30. Chapter 30

**Letters to America  
><strong>

In response to: Dear Dad, 

I haven't seen you in a while, and I've got into an argument with Virginia, and well it's lead to this question. Why am I... Um... black... I mean I have the signature Jones eyes, but that's about it. You don't have to answer, I just want to know if I'm really a Jones, and that you love me! Sorry! I'm probably being over dramatic, and wasting you time! 

Also, I have two questions for you(first one hypothetical)! If you dont mind... 

One: How would you feel if I one of you kids had feelings for Mr. Kirkland's son London? 

Two: Burger King or Wendy's 

Your Daughter(hopefully), 

Marydel Jones(Maryland)

~*~*~

Dear Marydel,

Of course your a Jones! Don't you ever doubt for a second that I don't love you! I love you very much no matter what you do! I love all my children unconditionally! You guys can do anything, including leave me for Russia or bomb me and I'll still love you, ok? So don't ever doubt it and don't always listen to Virginia.

Aww! Do you have feelings for London? That's so cute! That's cool with me. Like I said, I'll always love you, no matter who you like/love!

Do I have to choose? McDonalds is my first choice but I guess I'll go with Wendy's. You know, they've got those awesome sea salt French fries! Did you also know French Fries are actually from Belgium? I never knew that until Belgium told Romano and Romano told Italy who told me! Pretty awesome right!

With forever love,

Alfred Jones, your daddy!


	31. Chapter 31

**Letters to America  
><strong>

In response to: Dear Idiot, 

What big words? Geez, America do I have to buy you a dictionary? Fine I'll dumb my speech down to your level. Also, my name is not boring! Neither is my personality, I'm just a gentleman and as a gentleman I will ignore you bringing up the past. You're really on this diet then? I bet it wont last for a week. Huh? Why wouldn't you want my tea? It's good! Here I'll send you some along with my scones. 

Sincerely England, tea and scones packaged with the letter. 

P.s. *eye twitch* I thought you were on a diet.

Dear Iggy,

Hey! You don't have to be so rude about it! So what if I don't feel like going to Google or learning bigger words? I get the point across. Goal succeeded. If you're such a gentlemen then why do you always insult me and France? As 'ol Francy Pants would say, "England's a hooligan!". I've been on this diet for over a month already. And heck no I don't want your tea or any scones! I might have used to like them but those things kill my intestines! Seriously, is it even possible to make food taste so horrible or do you try to?

The hero,

America

P.S: What if I wasn't on my diet and I was eating my way to death? Something tells me you do care if you're asking about my diet and sending me tea and scones.


	32. Chapter 32

**Letters to America  
><strong>

In response to: Amerika, 

I take my family seriously, Amerika. Nikolai, Ukraine, even Belarus. They are some of the few people I can trust. Besides, you hardly ever visit him anyways. If anything, being alone is what's worst for him. I find it difficult to believe that Nikolai truly wants to kill Prussia's child. He has a temper. 

You always say that you are such a great hero, but what kind of hero are you? Do not pretend for a second that you have always been noble and heroic, because I can remeber plenty of times when you've been the opposite. The world is not completely black and white, Amerika. Even if you were a "hero", what use is a hero without a villan to fight? It seems that you need people like me, Amerika. Someone you can label as the bad guy, the vilian. Someone you can claim to have beaten and prove yourself strong. A true hero seeks no praise. If you truly were a hero, Amerika, no one would know it. 

You've been saying you that you will pay back China for years. When? When will it happen? 

And how do you plan to do that? How can you keep me away from my son? You seem to think that you are the only country with fair laws, Amerika. Ask Nikolai if he wishes to see me or not. I don't care what you think of me or my beliefs. I do care what Nikolai thinks. 

You laugh now, Amerika, but it is inevitable. Rome fell. Your precious England fell. In fact, you helped him fall. You've only been around for 235 years, and you act like you own the world. Spain and England did. Look where they are now. 

And as for me, I suggest you stop laughing. Grow up forever hungry, always fearing for your sisters' lives. Get raped by invaders who trap you one hundred years behind the rest of the world. Watch your cities burn and your people die. Be labeled a monster by an arrogant young nation who thinks he is invincible. Then try to laugh. 

-Russia 

((AN- Aww, it's fine. I was kinda worried that you'd think I was being too mean. I'm fine with whatever America has to say :) This is actually kinda fun ^_^))

Dear Russia,

I find it hard to believe you take your family seriously, Braginski. I don't think you have room to judge me considering you haven't visited lately either. You're not the only one with a busy country.

I know for a fact that I am a hero because if something were to happen to my country, the whole world would be affected. I might not have always been the hero but not everyone is perfect, even though you might think you are.

My debts to China is none of your business. I prefer to keep my affairs to myself, thank you very much.

If you were listening, I said that'd be alright if Nikolai wanted to see you but if you teach him anything bad, I will forbid you from seeing him. Don't worry about how, I have my own means of doing things.

I know I do not own the world. If I did, my economy wouldn't be in the shape it's in and my population would probably be higher. For the record, I do not wish to own the world. I have not expanded my country in a while and I plan to keep it that way. I want to simply help the other nations in the world because equal and balanced.

I can assure you, I will always laugh. Even at the fall of my nation, I will laugh just to spite my enemy and on my death bed I will laugh at how fate had played its tricks on me as it had to everyone else. No one can escape death. I might be young but I am not as dumb as everyone may think though I do know I have lots of room for learning. I don't need you to tell me.

Signed,

America.

(lol. Good. I'm glad you're having fun. I must admit, this is pretty fun!)


	33. Chapter 33

**Letters to America  
><strong>

In response to: America-san~ 

Ah, Japan here. Bella-chan is asleep right now, & left this emali open. I don't mean to be rude but I began to feel bad for her, as you say, "leaving you hanging." & do not worry, I will take good care of her for you.^-^ 

Oh, & earlier Bella-chan mentioned something about you needing to stop eating hamburgers & come visit her once in awhile. She said that she'd fry you some chicken & get the KentPan situation explained... 

& I will make sure she does not tell Canada-san about your memory-lapse. 

Uh oh, I'd better go. She's waking up & isn't much of a morning person... ^-^" 

~Honda Kiku, human representation of the nation Japan

Dear Kiku,

Yo! Dude, how's it going? Haha. Thanks bro! I'd appreciate it if you do. She's one of the first people on my list to visit since she was one of the first people to reply so tell her I'll visit soon.

Aww! Why do I need to stop eating hamburgers? I'm still on my diet…I've been drinking tea every day. And I'd love some chicken and what's this about KentPen?

Gee thanks bro! I'd really appreciate that! I don't want to hurt Mattie's feelings!

Oh you ain't kidding huh? Tell her I said good morning!

Sincerely,

Alfred


	34. Chapter 34

**Letters to America  
><strong>

In response to: Hey pappa,

Heh heh...will do! Eh...I wouldn't want France to know anything, he's creepy. It would just be weird, you know? No dead, drunk pirate cursing up a storm because I won't listen to him, no screams from his dead wives in the middle of the night, not even any smoke from when he lights his beard on fire like a psycho. I've just gotten used to those things. Actually...he only haunts me because he doesn't know where his head is. I feel so stupid! It's been right there the whole time! How many zombie games do you have, anyway?

Lots of love,

Mary-Belle Jones

Dear Mary-Belle,

France can be all right once you get to know him. Dude, that ghost sounds freaky. You need to get rid of him, like now! Seriously, go call England right now! Don't feel stupid about the head. No one wants to remember where a severed head is, you know? I have about…10 zombie games I think. I don't remember exactly.

Love,

Daddy Jones


	35. Chapter 35

**Letters to America  
><strong>

In response to: Dear sir, 

I can't tell them because Hawaii's not listenin' to me, and I'm afraid that if I go up north to Alaska, I might end up not coming back down, and that my glasses will freeze your nose off when I die of frostbite. By the way, how did you deal with my glasses burning you and anyone else trying to touch them while my state was on fire and I was sufferin' a 104 degree fever over the summer? I'm only possibly providing weapons for you because your super strength counts as a weapon, amigo. I refuse to dignify that second question with an answer. Why does everyone think Florida represents your unmentionables when Florida is a girl? Do you think Alaska and Russia will melt if I give them my special 5 Alarm Chili? 

Signed, 

Texas 

P.S. I know, and it was my dog, Austin, that he nearly set on fire, not Austria. Unfortunately, with England coming, I now have to hide all of my alcohol since you and I both know the hombre can't hold his liquor... I should probably hide my vodka stash from Alaska and Russia too.

Dear Texas,

Yeah, that wouldn't be good. Don't go up to Alaska. That's why I don't visit a lot; it's too cold for me. Um…well I got burns, that's pretty much it. It hurt like crap. I can deal with it since you probably were in more pain. Aww, really? That's so nice of you to think I have super strength! *Bro hug* Um…Florida, if looking at its position on a map and considering its shape…it looks like said unmentionable. Even though they might not know about Florida being a girl, most people assume that it is…said part. I'm not sure if they'd melt but I'm sure they'll think it's out of the world. Haha! In other words, it might give them gas that shoots them into outer space. Haha I'm so funny!

Lots of love,

Dad

P.S: Oh really? A dog? Well…that's interesting. Yeah. Poor 'bloke' as he would say. He can't hold alcohol worth a darn. LOOK! I'm being a good boy again and censoring myself. And definitely hide the vodka.


	36. Chapter 36

In response to: Hey pappa, 

Really? Okay...Blackbeard ain't all that bad. Only because he can't hurt me...he's just a pain. But I'll call him after I'm done writing this. I don't know...I would definitely want to know where my severed head was. What if somebody came across a random head? I would rather them be found and put back with the rest of the body. That is a lot of zombie games...just bring 'em all ^^ 

Lots of love, 

Mary-Belle Jones

Dear Mary-Belle Jones,

Of course man! Blackbeard is British so he can't be too scary! Besides, I AM a hero! W-woah wait! Y-you have a severed head? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN! That'd be horrible to come across a random severed head! I'll be sure to bring the zombie games though even though it's kind of ironic.

Love ya,

Alfred F. Jones


	37. Chapter 37

In response to: Dear sir,

I was actually rather delusional the entire time I had the fever... I don't remember much, just what everyone else told me later, and to be frank, if being able to drag around a car for several hours doesn't count as super strength, I don't know what else does. Now that I think about it... most of the southern states are female... so who do your unmentionables represent? Unless you don't have any, amigo, that's fine too. Now if you excuse me, I have to go stop France from streaking in front of my citizens... and me... Hmm, you won't mind if I make France "disappear" for a coupla days, do ya?

Signed,

Alex "Texas" Montoya

P.S. Yes, a chihuahua in fact, and if my hunch is correct, that's France Houston is growling and barking at right now, and France is going become very acquainted with my shotgun very soon. (insert evil smirk here)

Dear Alex,

My unmentionables is called unmentionables for a reason! It's unmentionable because it's so big and use to be the talk between all the countries. However, being the hero that I am, I was responsible and said this, "Hey everyone! Stop talking about my penis!" Yep. That's just what I told them. Right in the middle of a meeting. France you say? Pfft. No one will mind. He needs to learn a lesson.

Love ya,

Alfred F. Jones


End file.
